Mall Walkin’

My sons are both in their forties now. They were teenagers when I wrote this piece. I was much younger, too, and had much to learn (still do!) as I continued my walk with the Lord. I intentionally did not change any of the thoughts I had at the time I wrote this, so please grant me grace and just enjoy the story. I thought it might be timely during the Christmas season and maybe some last-minute shopping trips. 

            I was not born to be unseen, unheard, and unknown. I was born to take up the space my body fills, to say the words my heart needs me to say, and to be known and loved by at least a few family members and friends.

            Sometimes, I feel so insecure and insignificant that it’s hard to remember to talk in a normal voice instead of a quiet, meek whisper. It’s hard to remember not to curl into a tight little ball in my husband’s arms, thinking “nobody can hurt me now.” Sometimes, I guess we all want to hide from the world and all its craziness.

            Then there are times so joyous that I want to shout and sing at the top of my lungs. I want the world to know I’m here, look at me! On these days, I remember when my sons taught me how to “mall walk.” I was always trying to get out of everyone’s way, not to be a bother, and saying “sorry” every time I even slightly bumped someone. It always took me forever to get from one place to the next. 

            One day when both my guys were with me, they decided to teach me how to walk assertively. So, mall walkin’…it’s really just slinging your arms high, walking with your feet wide apart, long strides, completely taking up your space. They told me “people will move when you walk like this.” They were right. People move. They see a confident person. They make room. It reminds me of that saying I first heard in the movie, Spencer’s Mountain, “The world steps aside to let a man pass when he knows where he is going.” 

            I want to fit into my world, Lord. I don’t want to be just a quiet little nothing. I want to make a difference, a good difference, and it takes a confident, happy person to do that. Help me to serve you, Lord, the best way I can and maybe, one day, when I’m mall walkin’ –  simply trying my best to live the life you want me to live – You will smile.

About dorissavanover

Wife, mom, mom-in-law, and grandma, I write stories of everyday blessings - those ordinary moments that become extraordinary when we become aware of being in God's awesome presence. Recently retired, I enjoyed twenty-eight years of employment as an executive assistant to a commercial real estate broker. I'm excited to have more time to write and share the wonders of living an abundantly fulfilling life; a life of having a real relationship with Jesus Christ, our Savior, the Son of our very loving Heavenly Father.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Mall Walkin’

  1. Kathryne says:

    So how do you walk now, Doris? With confidence, with consideration or that insecurity that constantly apologizes? Just wondering.

    Like

    • Kathryne, thank you for asking! I realized, after reading your question, that I haven’t really paid attention to how I walk for years. I just found the story the other day and liked it, so I shared. I have others written through the years that remind me of the young woman and mom I was so many years ago and thankfully, I can see some areas where the Lord has allowed me to mature. Now, I really enjoy watching people when I’m out and about, so my focus is not so “me” oriented. I am very grateful to our Heavenly Father for the gentle lessons He teaches us, and looking forward to continuing to learn and grow in Him so that I can share His love with others. In fact, because of your prompting, I may soon write a post about a few other instances of learning as I’ve walked with Him. Isn’t our God amazing?!!! Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond to “Mall Walkin'”. Enjoy the blessings of this day.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. T. R. Noble says:

    He is definitely smiling 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s