I just finished reading a post by Anthony Baker. His post reminded me of the gift my mom gave me as she prepared me to live in this world without her.
My dad died eleven months before my mom. My brother and I both thought, because of her own health issues, that she would be leaving Dad to learn how to live without her, but we didn’t count on her selfless love for him. You see, Mom really desired to “take care of” her “honey” as long as he lived. She did that, too; prayerfully tending to him the best way she knew how. She never wanted him to have to be lonely for her.
After his death, she prayed every day that God would call her quickly. She viewed her own death as her “graduation day” and reminded me, “Sister, you grieve for me a while, and then get on with your life. A quick pity party is okay, but you need to remember, it’s my graduation day and I’ll be so happy!”
Then, during one very special visit, she said to me, “Sister, you’ll feel guilt when I die – guilt over something – because it’s often a normal part of grieving. Just remember, I know how much you love me and you know how much I love you, so don’t allow the guilt to get out of control when you’re missing me.”
My mom was a very smart woman. When I did feel guilt, I’d remember her words and be comforted. (I’ve already shared her words with my sons, so they’ll benefit from her wisdom, as well.) One of the things I felt guilty about was that I spent a little bit of time cleaning and she always wanted me to skip the cleaning and sit down, drink coffee and play Skipbo with her. If I could do it over again, I’d play more Skipbo!
Following is a link to take you to Anthony’s post. It’s definitely worth reading!